The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
