at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
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