He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
