i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
