after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
