Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
