Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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