dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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