i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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