Where is the hickey?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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