no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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