We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
