Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
