we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
