I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
