I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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