whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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