I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
