4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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