Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
