): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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