Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
