So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
