And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
