doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize