she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
