so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize