then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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