Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
