And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
