You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
