After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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