break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
