whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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