he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
