my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
