no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This is my gift to your gina
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
