There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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