so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
