The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
