Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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