Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
