Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
