i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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