If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
