You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
