i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
