that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
