so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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