tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
