On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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