I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
it glows. i had to have it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
