Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
