Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
