My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
