I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
