i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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