Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
