I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
