hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's always time for handjobs
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
