girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Green mimosas i think yes
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
