When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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