u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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