I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
