Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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