he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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