I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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