Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
