Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
