she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
